Looking at his earnest face, knowing that I am also unpublished, I felt obligated to say yes. I resisted. I had to say no. I have a busy family life, work life, and writing life already. To commit to reading this stranger’s novel was more than I could do.

In fact, I had a sudden feeling of standing at the top of a very tall slippery slope; one on which I could very easily lose myself. Lose my writing time and personal reading time to helping others with their writing.

My husband can hardly ever say no and I have difficulty with it but in this case I steeled my resolve and said it. No.

How easy is it for you to say no?

        

Folks are reading my stuff. They are liking my stuff. My inner critic wants to keep them liking my stuff and so is picking apart every little word choice, character name, plot twist (or bend), or story idea. I thought I could talk loud; just ask my kids. My inner critic? She is way more chatty and voluminous — I don’t think that word means what you think it means — than I could ever be.

She has grabbed my typing hands, stopped my ink pen, and with her words, has dried up mine.

It is a weird thing. As an aspiring writer, I want people looking at my work and enjoying it but for me, the attention gives my inner critic power. And that isn’t good. She had plenty of power beforehand, believe you me.

So let’s try this. You don’t look at me straight on. Use your peripheral vision. I’ll tell her that no one is watching and I can write what I want, when I want; maybe she’ll listen. At the very least maybe she’ll go on a vacation, a long vacation, and leave me alone long enough to get some more stories into circulation.

        

• Annie and Auggie need to begin a romantic subplot on Covert Affairs. Their chemistry is my favorite part of the show so far.

• Writing outlines is hard. I usually am a seat-of-my-pants-type writer. A challenge/assignment for my writing group has us writing an outline for a novel due next Thursday and my brain keeps resisting it. I will do it!

• Abbie on NCIS is cool.

• Having my oldest child out of the country for the Fringe Festival makes me feel old. The first faint feelings of empty next syndrome are stirring in my heart.

• Cast in Chaos by Michelle Sagara is a great book. My one complaint with it had to do with the part just before the ending. Something about the way it was written made me feel almost like things went into slow motion. Can’t wait to hear more of Kaylin’s adventures.

• As Lie The Dead by Kelly Meding kept up the pace of the first book. Coming back from the dead never was so cool.

• Step Up 3D was a good movie but gratuitous 3D effects are annoying.

• Visiting amusement parks on a Saturday in August is not as fun as it may sound.

• And finally, keep your eye on the blankie. If you don’t, your son will make you go to extraordinary means to get it back.

        

Reading

Eat, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss: I’ve been reading this book during my breaks at work for the last few weeks and I finished it up today. I’ve been told several times “you should read it” and I finally did. It is a hilarious look at those pesky punctuation rules, trends, and history. I found myself laughing out loud, literally, many times. As an American, I also found it very interesting to look at writing from a British perspective. To sum up, you should read this book.

Writing

Writing group met this week and, while it wasn’t my turn to submit, I learned some things from the critiqued pieces. Both of them were too heavy on backstory, in my opinion; my stories have been lacking on the world-building, or at least on communicating the world building. I detest info-dump-type sharing of the setting and history of the story. I suppose in response to that I have been leaning too far the other direction and not sharing enough of the details of the setting with my readers. Seeing the other end of the spectrum was helpful. Maybe my writing will improve.

        

Reading

Daemon’s Mark by Caitlin Kittredge. The fifth in the Nocturne City series and another heroine shapeshifter. Luna Wilder is the main character in these books and she heads up the Supernatural Crimes Section of the police department. In this book, (despite the mistake on the cover blurb) Luna gets caught up in an investigation into a Russian sex slave ring. Young supernatural women are going missing and Luna is compelled to help them. An ex makes an appearance and her new boyfriend asks a question complicating Luna’s already full plate. This book is one I could not put down, and why would I even try? It is that good.

Revenant by Phaedra Weldon. Mental note: Ask Zoe Martinique how she keeps track of all her mental notes. Zoe Martinique started off this series as a plain old investigator who just happened to have the little talent of being able to go Out of Body (OOB) and spy on people incorporeally. Handy trick that. By this time, as a result of a connection with a certain Vin Diesal look-alike from the Abysmal plane, she is now Wraith. Wraith with a capital W, complete with scary black wings and killer bunny slippers on her feet. Irreverent and funny, Zoe’s friends are being threatened by a series of attacks on Revenants AKA vampires (but not the kind you’ve been reading about) and is off to save them. By the way, you can blame Zoe for my Sunday post being posted on Monday morning.

TV

Lie to Me. Cal is back in business, rooting out the liars and having fun doing it. In the season opener, Cal is after a serial killer. Everyone else doesn’t see it, but Cal pushes forward and proves himself right, again. Doctor Johnny Fever saw a UFO and his career was saved. Ok, so maybe it was the actor, Howard Hesseman, playing a professor who saw the UFO and as everyone thought he was crazy his career was in jeopardy. This show is one of my favorites. The team dynamic, the irreverent Cal, and the “who-done-it” aspects of this show hit all the right notes with me and I am happy it is back for the summer.

Good Guys. I’m on the fence about this new series. On one hand it is a cop and partner show. Two partners who are completely different are out there solving crimes. On the other hand it is a tongue-in-cheek spoof of a cop show, poking fun at the genre with a lot of strange, but funny, flashbacks.  ”I finally figured out how to use the computer machine.”–Dan Stark as he wedges the laptop into the car to hold down the accelerator.

Stargate SG-U. Wow. Season finale and it won’t be coming back until October. I think there were tears in my eyes when I knew how long it would be before I FOUND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE! The season finale has the potential for new faces (and another faction) to be added to the Destiny. It also has the potential for several favorites to be leaving. I am loving this show and I am going to be counting the days until the next season starts.

Writing

You might think with all this reading and watching of the TV, I didn’t have time to write. You would be wrong. While my word count might not be that impressive, I did make progress on my current story. I am also seeing the path I want to start down with the next scene or two which is always nice. The path is fog shrouded and murky, and I think I hear some creepy music playing, but there is some excitement down there I can’t wait to explore.

Movies

Karate Kid. I told you that I wanted to see this movie and so I took the family with me to celebrate the kids’ last day of school. I really enjoyed it. There was enough of a balance between the familiar and new, that everyone could have fun with this movie. Jaden Smith has a lot of his dad in him (or at least a lot of what his dad shows on the screen) and Jackie Chan is, as always, awesome. Fun, fresh, and most importantly, this movie teaches kids to do their chores and respect their elders. You should see it.

How was your week? Any summer plans you are jumping into already?

        

Reading

I read Ilona Andrews‘ Magic Bleeds, fourth in the Kate Daniels series. I enjoyed this book, as I did all the others, greatly. The pacing, the voice of the character and author, the setting; all these things suck me in and keep me reading until the last page. And then looking for more pages and being disappointed when I couldn’t find any.

Writing

I turned in the first 10 pages of my rough draft for group and it was critiqued last week. I was hesitant to turn in something unfinished and so rough but I am determined to finish a novel length project this year and so I didn’t want to write a short story just for group. My critique raised a bunch of questions and pointed out some holes in the story so far that are helping generate new ideas. I will have to remember how that helped and try showing some pages to a close friend or two when I get stuck in this story.

Movies

My daughter begged for some time with me, asking to go see Letters to Juliet. Y’all know I wanted to see that movie and to spend time with my oldest daughter just sweetened the deal. Together we went and laughed and cried and enjoyed the story. The movie is fun and watching the relationships between Sophie and Claire, and Sophie and Charlie, develop was very entertaining. The one sour note for me was that I couldn’t believe Sophie had ever been in love with Victor, her fiance.

That was my week. How was yours?

        

This day is the weirdest in my experience. Pros and guests are getting worn out and there is still another day to go. There is a lot more giggling and a lot more lost trains of thought. In other words if you can stay awake to enjoy it, it is the most fun.

That said, I have a bit of a rant to make. Today we had the follow-up to the Writers Workshop yesterday. I heard a lot of submitters dismiss everything the pros had said because “They didn’t understand what I was trying to do” or even worse “He didn’t understand because he’s a man.” If I wasn’t as shy as I am, I would have piped in as agreeing with the pros but I didn’t really want to start an argument. It really bothered me that these folks who had paid to be in this workshop were completely closed off to being taught just because the feedback they heard wasn’t exactly as they wanted it. I am not saying they should rush to change everything the pros pointed out, but they should be at least considering and mulling over the comments and only reject them then. /rant off

I spent the last half of that talking with John Dalmas who had sat himself down next to me. He is a fascinating gentleman with a lot of experience in the field of writing SF/Fantasy. I enjoyed that part of it thoroughly.

I enjoyed the readings of M. J. Engh and James C. Glass today. Their stories they shared were entertaining and, especially during M. J.’s (who had primarily pros at her reading), educational.

The final panel titled “Beyond Vampires” was very amusing. They argued and discussed. They were very passionate about genre trends and why the current trends exist. Also this is the first time I had seen one of Patricia Briggs’ fans come in dressed up. I wish I had a picture but this one had on a Mercy costume, complete with a heavy wrench hanging from her belt and tattoos painted on her arms. The only thing that would have made the costume better would have been the tattoo at the base of her back and if the wrench hadn’t been so shiny silver.

Tomorrow is the last day of the con. I am glad it is almost over. I am in desperate need of some writing time after all the positive experiences I’ve had here.

        

Harry Turtledove and M. J. Engh were the authors who critiqued my story and while I was very excited to hear all the good things they had to say about my submission, I was even more grateful to hear the criticisms they had on punctuation, word choice, and dialogue tags. These were the kinds of things I was hoping for. They won’t help me with just this story, they will help me with all of my writing.

The rest of the day was spent in and out of panels dealing in Space and Time for Writers, Arguing about Punctuation, and Writers of the Future. The Writers of the Future panel was given by James Glass, a former winner of the contest. He gave us the six day workshop the winners get in miniature. He had some very relevant things to say to where I am currently at in my writing career and reinforced some things I had heard a few but not many other authors address before.

I’m having fun here. Hope you are having fun where you are.

        

Reading

I am trying out an ebook for the first time this week via the B&N eReader app for my PC. I prefer the print book still but the ebook was free and I like that price so we will see.

Writing

Speaking of ebooks, Barnes & Noble announced pubit! this week and everyone is buzzing about it at work and in my social networks. My writing group is considering trying to publish an anthology using that technology. There are a lot of things to take into consideration and decisions to make but it is still exciting all the same to have that option out there.

I submitted some stories this week and in the process I accidentally submitted the same story twice. I used the right word counts in the cover letters but the same title and the same file attachments. Seconds after hitting that send button I knew I had done it and then I panicked. How do I let them know I made a mistake and sound professional at the same time? I am such a worry wart but it was a small but good experience. I learned how to say Oops! like a professional.

Spider Tracks

Another great post by Dean Wesley Smith on Talent as a Myth. I like what he has to say about it and in fact, had already come to the conclusion that the hard work he talks about is the next skill I need to develop to continue in the writing field. My problem though comes from everyone telling me how talented I am but not believing them. My self esteem is very weak and I always think that when folks praise my writing clearly they are just being nice and they mean the opposite.

Discovered the site Adventures in Children’s Publishing and the character worksheet series. I found them interesting and while I am not sure I will actually use the sheet, I did find reading through the questions with my current MC in mind helpful.

J. A. Konrath’s press release for Shaken by Amazon got me thinking. I am still too new to this business to know all the ramifications or even be able to guess them but this is a neat development. So many changes coming down the line, it makes a writing career seem like a sandbox full of possibilities as long as one has the imagination to pursue them.

So my week went well, how was yours?

        

Hands waved wildly in the air. Long low groans fill the air. Head hits wall or computer or desk repeatedly. “I need ice cream” is said and followed through on.

Sound familiar?

Everytime I tell someone I’ve received a rejection letter I think they expect that reaction from me. They are surprised by my happy face and how excited I am. In other words, I’m weird. (Not big news to anyone who knows me)

Admittedly I don’t have huge amounts of rejections yet but I am starting to pile them on and I love it. Well maybe love is a little strong. But I do relish them. For, you see, I don’t see rejections as dead ends. I see them as stepping stones.

The stones lead to my goal and I can’t bypass them. I also have to keep an eye on each one as it comes or I will slip. I have no idea how many stones are on my path, the end is shrouded in mist. I am happy to be on the path though. Writing and submitting is enough for me right now.

I know that not everyone will love my stories and even if they like it, there may not be a place for it with them. And so I keep going. Skipping from stone to stone, excited to see the view from each new one. Writing more stories to send out so I can get more rejections to pave my path with.